January 12th saw the release of one of my very favourite films, Julien Duvivier’s sublime PÉPÉ LE MOKO. The character of Pépé is everything a criminal should be: dapper, softly spoken and oh-so-smooth, but not averse to kicking some arse if the opportunity should arise. So who are some of our favourite smooth criminals in the DS catalogue?
10. Zorg from THE FIFTH ELEMENT
Clad in Jean-Paul Gaultier and speaking with a dee-lightful southern drawl, Zorg’s true criminal self is somewhat hidden behind his gee-whiz dandy exterior. Played with gleeful excess by the brilliant Gary Oldman, Zorg is one of our favourite badass crims.
9. Harry Fabian from NIGHT AND THE CITY
A petty crook but a crim nonetheless, Harry is a fast-talking hustler who finds himself on the run after what should have been his final “get rich quick” scheme ends in disaster. Filmed in London after Dassin fled the Hollywood witch hunts, NIGHT AND THE CITY is imbued with the atmospheric paranoia of the time.
8. Phyllis Dietrichson from DOUBLE INDEMNITY
An ice-blonde Barbara Stanwyck plays the cold-hearted Phyllis in this noir classic, using lovesick Fred MacMurray as a pawn in her deadly chess game of insurance fraud. Smooth.
7. Fontaine, A MAN ESCAPED
Jailed by the Nazis, Fontaine is a resistance fighter whose logical and methodical preparations for escape are to be admired. Near-silent and utterly focused, Fontaine is a dedicated and unassuming criminal hero.
6. Peter and Paul from FUNNY GAMES
…And on the other side of the spectrum from Fontaine are the dark, twisted Peter and Paul from FUNNY GAMES, ironically clad all in white. Their mild manners and innocent smiles belie a multitude of evils, which manifest in brutal, “funny games”.
5. Fred from SUBWAY
When not safe-cracking and decimating his hair with peroxide, the cavalier criminal Fred (Christopher Lambert) is charming the designer dresses off the wives of wealthy businessmen. Well, one wife anyway – the gorgeous Héléna (Isabelle Adjani). Will her love help him mend his wicked ways? Or will they just hunker down together with the other misfits deep in the Paris Métro system?
4. Max from TOUCHEZ PAS AU GRISBI
Nobody does smooth criminals like the French, and nobody plays them with quite the same wry charm as the great Jean Gabin. In the film which saved his career from a rather sad demise, Gabin plays Max, an ageing gangster who steals, smokes and seduces with a twinkle in his eye…
3. Tony “le Stephanois” from RIFIFI
Recently released from jail and keen to walk the line, Tony “le Stephanois” decides to enter into one last heist for one of those age-old reasons – spite. What a good idea!
2. Matilda from LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL
The little lass with the face of an angel and the sharp eye of a killer is cool, calm and collected in the face of her biggest fear – the ruthless and demented Stansfield. In her very first leading role, cute-as-a-button Natalie Portman shines in a role which is anything but cute.
1. Pépé from PÉPÉ LE MOKO
The inspiration not only for this list but also the Warner Bros Pépé le Pew cartoon character, Pépé le Moko is a gin-swilling, trilby-wearing bank robber with an eye for the ladies and a bad case of homesickness. In the role that made Gabin a star, Pépé is a paradoxical cocktail of cool charm and explosive violence who wants most of all to get back to the wide open streets of gay Paris…
Madman
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